My mom was talking about how protein is essential to strong bones and then I told her, I'll give you protein.
How unfortunate for your Mom.
i just recognized the girl sitting across from me from a lesbian porno... should i ask for an autograph?
Just an FYI: The offer for you to come snow blow my driveway in return for sexual favors is still on the table
I guess I tried to show you how big my closet was and we ended up eating pickles in my bathroom
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you dragged me by my throat over to the shots. this is a new level of alcoholism..
I brought his matress to the living room we're laying on it listening to rick james drinking vodka
I love you more than champagne and correct grammar
Ack! That is the first dick pic I've ever received. A) congrats B) that is way grosser than I ever thought t would be.
Just streaked campus for a bottle of patron...maybe you're right...I might have a drinking problem...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I found a door knob in my purse this morning, I hope whoever it belonged to doesn't need it today.
hahahah
I've made a single handle of rum last like three weeks and my mom hasn't even acknowledged it.
it was cool until he whispered 'sounds like you need a good dicking' with a completely serious face and i just lost it
I wanna hang out. The cats don't talk back.
we played his NES Classic. Turns out there is a warp zone to my vagina.
The cat hopped on my bed and watched me masturbate naked with a vibrator. I've never felt more sorry in my entire life
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