you always know who the new freshman are on fb because theyre always wearing prom dresses
we just got in the car and birthday sex is playing
that is a sign the 3 of us should have a threesome
we agree. completely
do you think having her use a clorox disinfecting wipe on her vagina will keep me from getting her herpes if I don't have a condom?
We JUST got rid of the new years fatties at my gym and now the spring break fatties are here. goddamn.
I know it's pride week, but your asshole is just never supposed to taste like banana.
Im so excited to get permanently banned for life from all the old bars again, it is gonna be christmas after all
Half the people who compete die. All the rest either lose their minds or grow an innate fear of sharks, vodka, and fishbowls
No he exists. Who else tells me no matter how drunk I am to pull out. He's watching over me so my bastard doesn't get created.
WE COULD TOTALLY DO ECSTASY AND GO TO THAT CAT SHELTER OFF OF BROADWAY.
He's like a fucking cake pop, the greatest thing in the world while it lasts, but it never lasts for long enough
I fucked some frat guy. Then I found my brother after and made him take his shirt off and then I made him tell me he loves me
I think the sex rug burn on my back is infected, can you check it out when you get home?
I'm fine with our borderline lesbian behavior.
Seriously, why do I have a mortar round?
So, I need to know. Why did you spraypaint your underwear gold?
Randomize
