Just found my girlfriend's stash of animated Japanese porn
And to think, I actually considered breaking up with her
Only my sister would update her facebook status while going into labor.
She hadn't heard about the oil spill. She gave dumb blondes a whole new standard to aim for. I did her anyway...but that isn't the point.
Heating the house with the oven may not be safe but at least it's always preheated
He told her, Don't talk. Just sit there so I can imagine that you have the kind of personality I wish you had.
You just kept yelling at the cabby "I own this cab" and insisted on smoking with all the windows up
I feel like I need to get a restraining order against him but I'd probably be the one to break it.
The girl I hooked up with in exchange for Ramen freshmen year is living with the girl I currently wish to bang.
Try oodles of noodles this time.
We stayed up until 4:20 AM. The next thing I remember was waking up at 4 PM, like my internal alarm clock knew.
He said "I can't wait for you to feel me inside of you so I can tell you gently that you're mine" and left me a 4 minute voice mail of him crying after I told him I didn't want to be with him. 30 year olds are off limits.
Guess what I signed up for?!?!?!
Please tell me you're not selling your eggs.
i was the only bi girl at the frat party. i felt like the last cresent roll at thanksgiving
I feel like I should acknowledge that I see you as a human and not a ragdoll sex object
LMAO I like how "don't worry I'll bring chasers" is your way of assuring things will be ok
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
Randomize
