So I'm driving and this guy next to me at the stop light is reving his engine and honking at me. Motherfucker thinks that's because I'm asian and drive a honda I'm automatically going to race him
so how do you plan on seducing my econ TA?
by telling him that he has a large supply and that i demand it...in my mouth. it shows him that i'm slutty and that i pay attention in econ
Drunk roommate walked in on us and asked if we wanted to go eat a sandwich with her in the bathroom.
Just ran interference for her again. Sometimes i wonder how many times in my life i'll have to be a cock block at the clinic
We sold so many girl scout cookies when we were little. What went wrong?
I have not carelessly put myself in herpes way since I got a clean bill of health tyvm.
As i looked at his penis, it stared back into my soul. No more drinking games.
I'm hungover as hell. I'm dying. I have no skin left on my knees
Don't worry, the house smells like waffles more than sex
It's time to run my sex life like a basketball team. Got the lesson Clint!
The fact I have to evaluate my choice between tequila and fruity pebbles is a clear image of my life right now
I dunno I mean I feel like I owe everyone an apology except the two people I punched in the face
He was making a joke about signing my name on this piece of paper. He has a whole bucket filled with names on pieces of paper. I think thats how he keeps count.
I wish you could see all the crumbs in my bra....it looks like Hansel & Gretel got lost in my cleavage.
It wasn't exactly a dick pic. It was more like a body shot with a hint of wiener.
Randomize
