Sam Adams makes it so easy to keep track of the seasons.
Yeah i'm definitely friends with drunk kyle, not sober kyle.
They're donating plasma together for extra money. Couple of the fucking century.
you know its a sad night when you can actually see and hear sitcoms on at the bar
Judging by the grocery store, everyone stocked up on frozen pizza and beer for the blizzard. If our generation ever faces doomsday, we'll go out smiling.
It got awkward when the girl working at planned parenthood continued to hit on me, after she knew about my STDs.
I was just asked if I wanted to struggle snuggle. She's a keeper
PS my house is a mess.
pps I have a rash on my face.
One of the annoying girls in my 7 AM class showed up drunk for her 21st birthday and just auctioned off her fake ID.
I just paid for weed by taking him to the store to buy cheese so he could make empanadas. Best. Drug deal. Ever.
Just got offered bathroom sex. I've never been more flattered.
I mean I only got hit in the ass with ONE firework
And as the acid sets in, he looks back at the shallow form he used to call his and whispers "3 pee pees strong"
Well, I told him that it's not all about him. Then I gave him the best blow-job in the history of blow-jobs.
He had a flex off with himself in the mirror but he thought it was someone else for at least 20minutes.
Randomize
