I went from sexy to sloppy in a matter of minutes
Three questions. How does a tomato drive a car, how does an asparagus play a guitar, and how am I still so high that I chose to watch Veggie Tales?
Anyone who says sunshine brings happyness has never woken up with the worst hangover of their life to their window being open and it being a bright shinny day
Definitely just blazed with the housekeeper. That woman needs a raise
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Nypd just made jon and hayes chug their forties.
he fucked me to the beat of the construction going on outside my house. i will never look at jackhammers the same ever again.
I feel that shower jager is exactly what this man needs after last night.
You're a disgrace to gay men everywhere.
I just used FaceTime as a look out while I got a blowjob in the library
Lets just say that a certain piercing set off certain alarms when I went thru the airport detector/scanner thingie. David was high fived like 12 times.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do you remember doing synchronized hip thrusts to Michael Jackson? Probably one of my favorite parts of the night
Woke up in your shoes. Please tell me you woke up in mine
It's like sexual waterboarding. You gave me sex so good I'm comparing it to torture. Jesus.
Will keep you updated on the sexual orientation of my new guy
He signed my ass with a Waffle House pen.
I would just like to say that I had morning sex today to the Hamilton soundtrack. So.
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