Do you think the new Crest Whitestrips Advance Seal would stay on while I give him head? It would be great to knock out 2 things at once...
He told me I couldn't drink an unopened bottle of water he had in his room because that was his emergency bong water
21st Birthday Idea: liquor store gift registry. Give me a promotion.
Just realized Ive had sex in or around each thing listed in Green Eggs and Ham besides the fox.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just commented on the education level of his penis.
It's a strange mix of shame and pride every time I pee at the bar and still see my lipstick on the bathroom wall...
I just saw two homeless guys bond over the fact that they both use Crown Royal bags as wallets in Burger King.
Aka I'm headed to the liquor store because I don't know how to handle my emotions.
Whose panties are you wearing on your head and why are you sending me pics of it?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There's a bull to ride and dancing on the bar is encouraged. This is my heaven. And this is why god made leopard tube tops.
I'm not going to waste the next hour of my life writing a diplomatic email explaining that she's bitch. I have Parks and Rec to watch.
Honestly cannot tell if I’m magical or really, really high.
U NO SLUT. YOUR HEART IS JUST FREE.
So apparently I’m into choking now
I'm with jana at walgreens picking out penis rings.... Did you know they sell vibrators at walgreens? Wtf?
Randomize