Moan for me like Helen Keller
whatever. i fb stalked him and his pic comments are witty. so i'm going for it.
this one can actually spell my name, that's a shoe-in
How many 'remember name' entries is it inappropriate to have in one's cell phone?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Babe when I told you that you needed to grow up I didn't mean get drunk and sponsor 8 African kids.
I made Mark strip for me and do a stripper dance. I put 2 dollars in his mouth
I'm tired and starving, and I'm pretty sure I just cost the company 33,000 dollars...fuck you and you're "you'll love going to work high" nonsense.
So I'm thinking that so long as I have this piercing, I'm going to get tested for explosives at the airport
I have managed to reach the 'after meth poster look' before lunch here...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey are you going to the pride parade? If so get me a shit ton of condoms
You also thought the cure to hiccups was drowning yourself (and you were right)
A particularly funny moment you may have missed; you walked in to the basement to announce that whoever was cooking sausages had left them on the grill for Hella long, only to be told that you were in fact the person grilling. At which point you just said, "the sausages are done" and walked out
you made a mix containing mostly whiskey. then you took a sip, gagged and yelled "perfect!"
Do exhausted, barely concealed hand jobs count as joining the mile high club?
Some people are good at football, some people are good at painting, and he's good at being a fuckboy. Everyone has their talents.
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