four loko is officially banned. leave it to the kids from a state school to fuck it up for everyone
You try staying up all night fucking a guy with a curved dick and see how much you want to go out after that.
You looked at my sister and yelled at her saying in a couple of years she will be yours
I just want a teacup pet pig so I can take him to parties with me and never have to walk home alone again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm sorry, the person you're trying to reach is WAYYY too high to deal with this right now.
He also complimented my butt. High praise coming from a boob guy.
I'm glad there seems to be a general consensus regarding your ass
We could have a classy candlelight sonic dinner with fireball cocktails if you leave now. Twat tickler centerpieces.
I'm discussing Magic Mike with my mom and totally get why she thinks I'm gay.
FYI the blow job was for papa johns pizza
I regret 8000% nothing
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No dude. I can't think of anything LESS sexy than yodeling
You don't know being judged until its 7:30 in the morning and you're on 2 hours of sleep halfway between drunk and hungover wearing pajama pants at an international airport while saying how proud you are that you found the airport's bar immediately and how disappointed you are that it's closed
I need to be her Aladdin, and show her the world. The sex world.
You didn't throw up on me, you threw up on yourself and then tried to give me a hug
I would throw a dart into the Olympic ceremony and fuck whoever it hit
They just canceled the season. It’s going to be harder to bang soccer moms this year
Randomize
