Can we talk about the cons of throwing up in the bathtub. there are no pros.
I just lost $50 at the races, got drunk, and woke up to my ex-gf. Apparently the good decisions kept on rolling...
Yes, I am watching The Hills Have Thighs. And yes it is a porno remake of The Hills Have Eyes. And, again, yes, lesbian sex in the desert. Get the sand out.
That's the second time in a week someone has called me to talk drunk you into getting up off the floor. This needs to stop.
Tell him I'm the girl who was excited he spoke English. Then ask him where he picked me up from.
Bro, the freshmen are smoking in the park again, do you need ammo for ur paintball gun?
you were stumbling down richmond carrying a girl in a nurse costume. its not even halloween dude
so my mom thinks I'm picking you up just to go buy you liquor before you go back to school tomorrow...
I'm ashamed that your mom thinks I haven't already taken care of that.
We all just did coke and we're coloring so if you're sober its pointless for you to come over here
It was close. I was the girl scoping out where all the garbage cans were located in the class just in case.
This is why you don't heavily drink before 2 midterms.
I heard moaning and ass slapping and sponge bob.
Because I'm a hot mess throwing up in the litter box
The plane down was full of newly weds and I counted 5 pairs of mile high club members. Actually, one might have been a group membership discount.
Trying to do the walk of shame over here WHY are there a hundred ppl on the el?! Thank god I pulled a summit and wore casual clothes I even stopped by the farmers market and bought some squash
You are lucky that I'm drunk. Otherwise I would bone you into another universe
Randomize
