): 100 percent naked, unless you count a tiara as clothing.
Michelle found a bong in the garbage and sold it to my mom
Thats cool. we found a cat INSIDE a coke machine.
Ah why did you tell everyone you dragged your sac across my face!
I ended up giving him head, i think it was mostly a defensive move so that he wouldn't discover i was wearing those onesy spanx
I went back up to the apartment to get her phone and when I came back she was peeing on the sidewalk
ive realized i need to start an "avoid moving in with my parents after graduation" fund
I have a king size bed, I guarantee multiple orgasms, and I'll give you a ride home in the morning. Respond quickly.
He just asked me if I wanted a ride on the "bologna pony." I never wanna have sex again...
We made a water bong out of a wine bottle... Being an architect major finally payed off.
FACE TIME HER WHILE YOU GUYS BANG
I don't really care where everyone ended up, but is everyone alive and not in jail?
Not in jail
Alive?
I took the beard trimmer to my balls this morning.\nMuch blood. Much blood from my scrotum.
My fuck buddy just proposed... Correct me if I'm wrong, but doesn't that completely defeat the purpose of FRIENDS with benefits?
Now you can be friends with Insurance Benefits.
Bro i just made a pipe out of a mechanical pencil and the top to an eye drop bottle. Does that make me some kind of pot god?
Randomize
