I think about you every night.
I'm sorry.
I just made a milkshake without a blender... thats determination
I couldn't remember if it was hamsters or Iraq that you hated. I'm so sorry.
apparently my insurance doesn't cover road head. Bummer.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Given my current decline of critical thinking and capacity for speech it's probably best u call the cops
They are stoned and trying to learn sign language together. It's like watching a chimp waving at itself in a mirror.
Needs to be more caveman. "Me kill roommate. You watch. Then sex time with our genitals."
Just busted the chick who slept with my boyfriend with alcohol. God I love being an RA.
Oh yeah. I pretty much fucked the universes brains out lastnight. It was glorious.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just had a twenty minute discussion about endangered breed dog breeding with an Extremely drunk guy
So many questions...
Nothing to be ashamed of. I bet Oprah has sharted.
I had cheese pancakes which is pretty much just melting cheese in a frying pan and then eating it except youre in denial that your life is a wreck
If it makes you feel better he's in the stall next to me and I'm taking a diabolical shit. He's complaining
It's all fun and games until your mom recognizes your bootycall from 2018 as her attorney
Granted, I did not plan to spend ANY hour of the last day of 2020 sober.
Randomize