I think I tried picking up these girls last night by asking them what their favorite color was...I obviously woke up alone
Spent the last thirty minutes staring at the wall with Leah. It's definitly moving
There are taser marks on me. Your face flashed before my eyes when i woke up and saw them.
He threw up. He never throws up. It was like finding out superman cant fly anymore. I was so sad for him.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Idk. I'm naked in front of the computer eating ribs. All is right with the world.
That's so nerdy and hot at the same time.
Paying for my weed with Mike's hard lemonade freezables. The perks of having a gay dealer
I realized I used a copy of a biography of JFK as pillow last night...
Happy Fourth.
Two chicks walked outta his room and all he did was beat his chest like LeBron and yell, "And 1!"
I got so drunk that I peed my bed...and all over him. The ironic thing is that he slept in his swimming trunks.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Headphones came off my phone same time as The Weeknd sang "Who's gonna fuck you like me?"...Everyone at work heard it.
I'm literally spending $165 to fly to Arizona to have a sex road trip coming back
How is someone going to pee on the floor two days in a row? Fuck this place.
She threw my purse across the room almost broke a lamp and this all started bc she forgot what an air mattress was
I'm wearing jeans from 7th grade and drinking a fucking macchiato. This better be a good day.
You can make out without kissing
Explanation needed
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