I definitely just put my boxers on backwards.
haha now u have to piss out ur bum
tell her no need for introductions. and that you've read about her on the back of toilet doors.
I just found out I have a small penis.
Couldn't you tell by how you've NEVER had a girlfriend?
he then started listing things that have been up his butt, never drinking in boys town again
Finished drinking tea out of a red party cup when I was done I flipped it without even thinking
New handbag passed the ultimate test. The walk of shame. I had a bra, tights, skirt, shirt & sweater in it and you couldn't tell. yessss.
It was scary, we all screamed. Never make mimosas in a car.
I returned her cell phone that I found in the bathroom, I felt the stretcher and the ambulance was enough of a learning experience.
I dont know what we smoked last night but I woke up and found out I started writing a book called White Trash Princess. Its the best thing Ive ever read
His dick looks just like him, taller than average, thick, and somehow always angry.
Just took plan b with my eggs and chai...homecoming got the best of me already
it was one of those unspoken contracts of silence like "I teach your daughter and you work at a strip club"...I don't tell if you don't
Im gonna go for the gay guy. The ginger is freaking me out.
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
You're wearing pigtails and giving away our kitchen appliances. Clearly, you're drunk.
Randomize
