I fuked that chick last night and she kept saying, "oh...oh....oh", like Bill Lumberg
so what did you do?
I did the mash I did the monster mash It was a graveyard smash!
he came faster then a bring it on movie goes to dvd
just learned how to wash a penis. thank you nursing school for getting me the most action i've had in months.
My professor just gave everyone in the class extra credit... except for the kid wearing the Cubs hat
Apparently I gave him a 'Steve jobs blowjob'
My mom just blew pot smoke into my nose and called me a cat.
Also pregame at mine tomorrow?
I was trying to get everyone to go to the bar but I puked on my hands, so nobody took me seriously.
I can say with 87% certainty that i received one of the world's five greatest blow jobs since the Coolidge administration on Saturday night.
I woke up without my clothes on covered up with a towel on the floor because for some reason I took a bath in my clothes at 2am.
Dude. That Grinch had his priorities right when he was worried that there might be a cash bar at that town celebration.
An "unreasonable amount of ejaculate" isn't a reason to be angry at me.
I sat on his face and watched Mean Girls. It was a good date.
I have wine with a bendy straw bitches I can do fucking anything
Its like people have to train for months before they try and drink with us and survive...
sarah's view on last night: a threesome to make things less awkward. oh, well done.
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