I'm so horny!
I'm so hungry
WHAT A TERRIBLE REPLY!
For your pussy...
I woke up this morning with my shirt on upside down.
You mean inside out.
No, upside down. I ripped the neck hole in the process of getting it around my waist.
I'm done trying to be a vegetarian. My vagina smells like hummus.
Are you for fucking real.? He divorced me just because he got a fucking girlfriend.?!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Can the rest of this semester just go by as a montage?
Honestly dude, i think you should ignore the restraining order if you really love her.
Mac n' cheese is coming out of my nose. You can't make that feel better
Congrats to the girl that left her positive preggo test in the bathroom...
i like him when i'm sober AND when i'm drunk.i've been searching for this my whole life
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He once got bit in the face by a dog and still got laid the same night. He owns Memorial Day Weekend
Where would I incorporate "your boyfriend fucked the shit out of me last night" before or after Merry Christmas bitch?
Girl. There is the cutest old gay here. He's approximately 100 years old and kind as shit.
Idk I've been drinking all day and they're having me blow shit up. Like dont let the drunk chick play with fire and explosives. Common sense 101. I will fuck something up
She's the queen of dating. She managed to get a date with a guy who saw her puke five times in two hours.
he stopped mid makeout and said "can I pray for you?"
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