his status popped up and said 'probably going to jail.' it took everything i had not to press the like button
you need to know that there is a kid here wearing an i mosh for Jesus shirt
Oh and fyi, I've been drinking and about to do free weights. I'll late you know how this goes.
I can get head just about anywhere nowadays so that's not much of an incentive, coffee on the other hand...
Every single time I start thinking that we shouldn't have done that to him, I think of his ballsack in our passed out faces. No sympathy.
On an unrelated side note: I shall now attempt to crawl to the bathroom. Where I will lay motionless on the cold ceramic bathtub with hot water pouring over my shivering body as I desperately try not to vomit. Good day.
We were on the balcony tossing jello shots to people passing below
When people said no i'd yell "i tried them i promise they aren't roofied!"
These days, you and me are swimming in dicks.
Marco
Polo
I'm going on a new diet. It's called the "eat healthy otherwise boys won't want to have sex with your fat ass" diet. Wish me luck.
Stop making Mac and cheese and sit on his face. FINISH HIM
I am very happy to share that the hospital says the testicle pain is normal and that they are going to take care of it.
My head feels like Jesus is projectile vomiting hammers on it
She fell off the bed and giggled until she passed out naked. It was really weird.
Probably not gonna date her.
Yeah, we agreed, but I feel like I need at least one more ride on the bonecoaster
So I was at my annual OBGYN appointment and when she saw the bruises on the inside of my thigh she asked if I had been horse back riding...I think my burst of laughter then awkward silence answered the question for me.
Randomize
