We just picked up about 540 lbs of women....
i cant wait for all this BS that is happening with Tiger to happen to Tebow
Just heard the garage door open and I immediately sprinted to the laptop to erase history, even though I haven't watched porn today...I believe Pavlov now.
I just found 17 dollars of saltine crackers in my room. confused incredibly. suprised not at all.
And then somehow we were arguing over how to fold our arms
There was an awkward moment where I was going for his cock and he reach out and held my hand, thinking that what I was doing
I found him with a guitar and his kitten in his room. He was singing a song he'd titled "you're a cat". Guess what most of the lyrics were...
Yes, he made a MIX CD for our booty call...
Really? Uh ohh sounds like a double date with extra stripper funnnn
He told me how it ended, then I blew him.
So he ruined the best cinematic experience of your life and you REWARDED him??
No. Way more drunk than the night I put a snowball in my purse "for later" and woke up to find everything soaking the next day.
But less drunk than the day that Pete took four of your birth control pills thinking they were Advil, right?
My mom just woke me up with a cowboy hat and sunglasses on. It's 7 am and she's drunk.
After the "sex" was over I dressed as quickly as possible. And then he came over to me stark naked and embraced me. For over a minute. And all I could think was please get your penis off my dress.
She needs to move out. Her mom interferes with my penis being touched
You'd think that a rotation of two 30 year old men could keep me satisfied... WHY ISN'T THERE A MAN THAT CAN KEEP UP WITH MY HEALTHY SEXUAL APPETITE?!
Randomize
