..Thats also how I think I got the lyrics from MIAs Paper Planes Sharpeed on my ass? Maybe.
Last night i stole a disco ball from a frat house by pretending i was pregnant.
I told her I was team Edward. I haven't gotten laid that easy since I told your sister that I had cancer
As soon as I saw the video camera and red light on, I started rolling my eyes when he would put it in me and telling him maybe his dick was too small cause I didn't feel anything...trust me that tape is going nowhere
If I can't get a one-legged man to love me, what the hell chance do I have with a NORMAL guy???
I just woke up and my mouth tastes like I licked the bathroom floor in the last ghetto bar we were in. I'm going to get my mouth checked for chlamydia. Do I see a dentist for that?
He thought my hair would soak it up. I HAD TO CUT IT OFF.
He called us the '3 Amigos' and told us if hos ex wife came we had to jump the porch railing and hide in the bushes.
you slapped the bag of goldfish out of her hands and screamed, "BITCH THIS AINT NO AQUARIUM". That's how fucked up
Did you just email Kelly and I gay dinosaur erotica?
GO RIDE HIS EYEBROWS INTO THE SUNSET
dude I fucking saw you snort tequila
Yes, the maid of honor did just deep throat the mic during the toast. How do I follow that?
Clearly the Stanley Cup Finals good luck hand job IS necessary. You let the whole team down.
It's like Guy Diamond blew glitter into my vagina.
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