i cant belive i got a ticket! i know what his dick tastes like!
everything was going well until edgar threatened to handcuff the security guard to himself.
no i had to finish in the bathroom to a pic of her mom in a bikini.
This text is addressed to sober me: getting drunk by yourself may have seemed like a Good idea at first bit it can tell you that it wasn't ad fun as you thought it would be
Ps your lap top bag is FULL of empty beets
how many lesbians have to have their hearts broken before they realise I am not that kind of DJ
It's amazing how not interested in talking to him I am since I've decided that he probably has chlamydia.
I have full custody of my vagina however you are granted visiting hours
Just successfully invited my mom to a drag show. If that doesnt say "im gay" then idk what will.
Going through my bras is like traveling back in time through my past hookups and relationships....
Its a cash in stratch tickets to afford cigarettes and coffee kind of friday
fucked a girl in the dry storage closet at work. knocked over a whole rack of tomato paste and pinto beans. and also i really hope my manager doesn't review this footage from the security camera
just saw a kid get pissed on buy a tiger at the zoo. His dad is rofling and the kid is crying. I think I have to go make a new friend
In two separate occurrences, I could have avoided getting my heart broken, and chlamydia, all with a left swipe.
My heart says buy the granny panties, but my vagina says don't throw in the towel yet.
He's 5'2" and his dick 4'8"
Randomize
