Theres this tee in the mall and it says all girls just wanna have safe sex. U make me think thats a lie
would you consider him our boss?
technically yes
then technically i slept with our boss
if three guys were standing in front of you and they differed only in the hairiness of the groin who would you choose: smooth as a baby's bottom, the grass lands or the amazon jungle?
i think you're getting too neurotic about why she won't touch you.
I hope whoever gets these locks of love doesn't have a drug test anytime soon
She always acts like she's doing me a favor with a hand job. I've been giving myself hand jobs for almost 20 years.
You came out of the bathroom, said "I'M DRUNK BUT I REMEMBERED TO WASH MY HANDS!" and then insisted that she smell them.
I was just about to send a concerned text until I opened my door and saw a shopping cart. I'm glad you made it home in one piece and with toys.
6 beers and it feels like I've been drinking water... Daiquiri time
She licked my face when I was on the phone with a customer and I just laughed. Im not sure if thats good or bad
Then, she put flavored warming oil on my dick and was amazed when something she bought FROM SPENCER'S almost burned my dick off.
I'm at a restaurant. I am NOT about to discuss my asshole over the phone.
You sluts I'm so proud of you. You're both wearing underwear.
I'm "drunk text both siblings" drunk.
I just saw a guy faceplant off a unicycle while holding a saxophone, while his buddy riding another unicycle and sporting a flute rode by laughing
Only at UConn...
You sent me a pic of you peeing in two separate directions
and like half a dozen dick pics
Randomize
