So someone put the baby mannequins in sex positions
you called to congratulate me on being the reason you lost never have i ever
Dude. I have been looking at your movie history on netflix and it is like looking at the rings of a tree. Only instead of telling me how old you are, it tells me when you were stoned.
I woke up on the stairs at of a Disneyland hotel. Yes, my night was amazing.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So just to get a feel for things...how prone are you to male Amish strippers...
A burger king employee called me from your phone while you were on their bathroom floorl. Hope ur not in jail....4 realz
Why is your name on a gluestick in a plastic baggy stuck to my door?
Also while I am being the bigger person I plan on bringing over something strong smelling and/or alcoholic to torture the poor hungover bastard
I wanted to be mature but the vodka was resilient.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like the devil slapped me in the face with his dick.
Birthday success
You broke the end off a wine bottle, ran outside and screamed "FOR NARNIA!!"
I remember him going "OH SHIT" when he saw you straddling me on the table. And it was like the best feeling ever.
I'm currently deliberating if I'm going to be too drunk on New Years to handle wearing false eyelashes.
Getting drunk at 9 am is not a super power.
I just had drunken sex with an eagle scout behind the boy scouts of america building. what has my life come to?!
Randomize