he aplogized for the shitty sex and called me "ma'am" when he did it. And he wants redemption sex. Gah I love southern gentlemen.
I am not saying a eulogy for your vibrator.
You remember the guy that busted in waving a tazer at everyone yelling "get the fuck outta my crib"?
yeah you don't forget that shit easily
We ended up crawling out from our hiding spot and playing pool with him once he calmed down. His name is Marcus. I got his email.
I'm skyping with my parents and reading Cosmo articles on giving great head. I'm on a roller coaster that only goes up, baby.
He also gave me two gold stars for sex. On my nipples.
I'm just so happy. I go to sleep and when I wake up there will be chocolate milk and penis.
I passed out and slept in my car. Now I feel like a hungover zoo animal. Look and laugh people, look and laugh.
Dude fuck drugs. It's 4am and I'm eating mushroom ravioli fantasizing about jumping on a trampoline
I'm by the tree and the Dora the explorer balloon .. Look for the Dora the explorer balloon
Went out with the family last night and some 40 yr old lady wanted to take me home. My mom was not happy with me
No alcohol sales on Election Day. WTF? Today, of all days, I need to be splurged to to vote for any of these morons running for president.
I couldn't even tell you how many times I've said "wrong hole" today
I AM A SEXUAL NIGHTMARE
She told me the next morning I stared at her tits for like 15 minutes with binoculars from only a few seats away.
I have all the porn. Be there soon
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