So #1 way to come back last night and #2 wishbone and I broke into his house and i opened joey's door and u were both passed out and pantless.
I've drank myself into a smaller pants size. Who ever said alcoholism was unhealthy was mistaken.
I farted on Jack's balls last night. He got pissed and walked away cause he knew it was on purpose. I couldn't hold it in anymore.
and honestly a story about how you met your future husband that DOESN'T include the words "creeped him on facebook" is really not a story worth sharing
Broke up w/ my married coworker...work is gonna get weird.
so thats a no on the drunken crutches race 2moro
I woke up naked, with the lights on, using my backpack as a pillow and a pillow as a blanket.
I'm mentally preparing myself to hang out with him by staring into the mirror saying "thou shalt not get naked" over and over.
Well I think I made it pretty obvious I wasn't in to it. I was drinking a beer while he was going down in me
I guess I can give it a shot. I usually just get belligerently drunk and go where my penis and feet lead me. No fights or getting too lost, so they seem to be doing a good job
I woke up wearing my panties and an eyelash, soo I'd say your birthday was a success.
I'm sorry, that really sucks. I'm in the bath eating lasagna and if anyone comes in here it's going to be bad news for them
You danced?!
I just jiggle to the beat like a sexy lava lamp
She told me the only rule was that I couldn't cum on her Batman blanket.
You're an adult now and it's your vagina. You should do what it or you wants.
Randomize
