i feel like my life has become an afroman song and idk whether i should be sad about that or not
is there an easy way to say "i didnt plan on sleeping with you until i saw how drunk you were" ?
We are lost. Everyone is drunk and it all went downhill after we iced the bus driver.
my shower just felt like jesus cried on me. like he shed tears just for my shower.
You'll get a boner for sure
Way ahead of you. Kinda awkward while paying rent but hey
Just found out that guy A from the threesome I had is now dating guy B's younger sister
That's what you get for dating construction workers you meet in tunnels.
We decided this year instead of not participating in Halloween at all we are going to hand out free beers to the parents.
I believe in using alcohol to heal from the inside. Not as a topical solution.
I did however clean up the cupcakes and vomit so I'm not that bad of a roommate
He fell asleep cradling my ass and every time I moved he adjusted his hand accordingly. I've found the one.
Apparently, Lolla sends you an email every time you use your wristband to buy a beer.
21 new emails...yikes
i woke up with a shamrock tattoo on my wrist and a fat bruise on my hipbone. please tell me its not real.
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
There's a big ass bed, hella ecstasy, and I can guarantee you'll regret every second that you remember.
Randomize
