There's a dildo in the cheerios box here...
So apparently vaginal secretions are not covered under water damage insurance for my cell phone
Just realized after we're done pre-gaming for St. Patricks Day, we have March Madness, the first day of spring, and Easter to pre-game for. March is a great month.
Yeah, it was all fun and games until I realized that it wasn't my tent, and I had no idea who those people were
dude all you wanted to do was sleep under a bridge
It's a sign that no dudes december is about to start: I have a yeast infection.
He's the second guy this morning whose job is jeopardized because of my vagina.
I just want you to know that I think it is hilarious and wonderful that 40s are now your alcohol of choice.
I figure even if it starts out as just sex I can bang him into loving me
I am the fucking FIFTH wheel. How do you think it's going?
I immediately woke up from my nap, made myself a screwdriver and got in the shower. I know it's spring break but I'm still questioning my life choices.
My phone just put together a highlight reel of yesterday's dick pic session, set to music and everything
Whatever. I'll take my new fine ass dick sucking nails elsewhere.
Tonight I'm getting fucked up for America because Lord knows we need it.
Interlocking vagina powers go!!'
Oh god, your drunk again aren't you?
Randomize
