it was terrible. i could've done a better job by myself.
I swallowed your vile semen and you don't know what color my fucking eyes are!?
yeah he was eating me out and i didnt know someone made popcorn so I thought the smell was comming from my vagina
wtf
um, yes. it's my birthday, of course there will be acid.
and being hungover still at 4 in the afternoon is NOT "having allergies"
She. Own s my pussycat. Roxk it like. The sun hitting the horizon
He's blaming gravity for his problems right now, so put that in perspective
Well I pulled a muscle in my leg dancing in the tanning booth drunk at 1 pm soooo there's that
how the hell did this chicken wing end up in my cast?!
On a side note Tyler is buying beer from a gas station in a panda suit priceless
Six words: 3rd Degree Burn On My Dick
I made out with him in the club and he endorsed me on Linkedin. My networking skills are off the charts.
it was a hallmark card with butt plugs.
My disney ticket is covered in lube, do you think they will accept it?
Apparently my hair turned out really good because I got my butthole licked by a stranger last night
Randomize
