He has such a weird drunk-voice.
dude, he's deaf.
Don't you think facebook is a bit pretentious, suggesting friends and all? No facebook, I would NOT like to be friends with a girl whose fiancee I have slept with.
She just did a myspace photoshoot with her baby
four loko is apparently banned in the us. so i think its time for us to stock up. i already emailed them about buying them in bulk
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I had to call maintenance to come unclog the toilet.
Something to remember me by.
Im only slightly posetive that left over guacamole and wine are unacceptable for breakfast at 6.30 am
He just climbed off me and used my hairspray to fix his hair. If he hadn't just gone down on me I would think he's gay.
Apparently while trying to get up from vomiting in the toilet I grabbed the seat cover for leverage and smashed my own head between it and the bowl. I don't remember this.
Getting drunk at 9 am is not a super power.
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Got my client divorced finally. He was even awarded the cat ashes. Yep I went to law school for this.
if I dont text you back in 10min assume i am in fact still dizzy and injured myself in the shower. and call an ambulance. thanx.
i feel like if my pee,blood, or vomit is on it...it should belong to me by default. can we make that a rule?
I accidentally just texted my dad asking if he wants to do shrooms with me. Do I leave the city now or...
I promise I won't bug you anymore, I just need the following things at your convenience but preferably soon: my earrings, cup, and panties. Thanks. Good talk.
I'd kiss your neck and collarbone and then run my tongue up your neck to just behind your ear
And then lightly kick the curve inside your ear
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