I hate bills.
Like ones you have to pay or people named William?
took shots out of a medicine cup. i can get used to college.
Let's just say there's a reason that "suede" rhymes with "laid".
dude. how can brian from family drink at fucking bars? he's a dog and definitaly doesn't have pockets.
I dk what to do with this kid he is like legitimately interested in my life.
when i was ordering pizza, the guy muffled the phone but i could clearly hear him say "its that drunk bitch again"
its official: beach shits are the exact same as mountain shits
Stand up sex. Extremely, extremely difficult. I now know how pointe dancers feel.
i've written a new chapter in the saga of unexpected dongs
My dog is now used to me drunk singing and sleeps through it. I don't know how I feel about this
Nothing wrong with a few meaningless hookups. Keeps the mind occupied and the body satisfied
I TOOK A FINGER IN THE BUTT YOU CAN OPEN THIS MESSAGE
Wait what do you mean I BOUGHT A FUCKING HORSE LAST NIGHT?!?!
Just met my future wife. Please dont fuck her.
One of my nipples looks nothing like the other...i don't know how this happened
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