I'm twenty-five. I'm too old to be watching my friend throw up in Chipolte Parking lot.
Totally saw a hot amputee. I think this is called character growth.
she tasted like a mixture of sweat and destiny
i hit her car. ill just send her a farmville gift in the morning. then it'll be alright.
WHY are the edges of my bra charred???
Uh yeah. I ate a brick of cheese. Didn't even cut it. We were admiring the teeth marks I was leaving. We decided it was the negative of my mouth
I'm staying in tonight, it's my Christmas present to my liver.
Idk he's just laying there passed out with a French fry up his nose and without any pants on. Boner and everything.
Dont care what i do tnt just as long as i get to chug a beer in somebodys face
Thank you for FINALLY joining the Slutasorus Rex club in this conversation.
Well, we won the drunk before noon contest!
I told her I didn't have a condom. She then sized me with her thumb and finger and tossed me a large. Then I asked her to marry me.
Drove by a guy getting road head, midday on O Street. That could be us, but you won't let me in your pants when you drive.
Plus you need some new dick in your life, the environment is fucked enough you don’t have to recycle anymore 😂💀
You went into my bathroom put on my bathrobe.. Said excuse me then went in my front yard and started yelling who ate my whopper..
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