I'm at some bar in brklyn... just made out with a guy named Owen.
He is a pre-school teacher... just sang me a song about weather.
you're the one who masterbates every night to the titanic soundtrack
Could someone please kill snooki before she contributes to the gene pool.
If she doesnt understand your inherent need to teabag an emo chick, do you really want to be with her?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just spent 10 minutes talking to the lady who works at taco bell about my romantic situation.
in hindsight, the duct tape banana hammock was a bad idea.
Went from beach to class to bar all while wearing my swimsuit as pants. Clearly I'm dressed for success.
do you think semen can infect my impacted wisdom tooth
We dared each other to drink Arbor Mist, and I waterboarded someone with tequila.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm so tired of waking up with my bed full of deli meats.
Im currently watching two girls making out. In the library. Hope your studying is going as good as mine is. Haha
Trying to coordinate a drug deal while taking a psych test is not easy.
I'm in my bed. Snow angles in fresh sheets. don't even try to get me out tonight.
I'm going to start charging you rent if you keep leaving your random conquests on my living room couch the morning after
If you get that boat I will recruit some boat hoes for you and tape a video and sync it to I'm On A Boat. This is happening.
Randomize