apparently my drunken alterego is a lazyeyed bisexual.
i just sat at a stop sign for 10 minutes waiting for it to turn green. i need to STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT.
He looked way older than 15. He probably thought that since I have braces I was 15. Fuck. The 6 year age gap is never to be spoken about. Especially because what happened constitutes as illegal.
I'm having sex on a snuggie, yes i stopped to text you
giving him head while hes talking to his fiancee on the phone about inviting me to their wedding.... im invited. should i go or would that be wrong?
all i remember is screaming butter knifes are for pussies.
St Patricks Day is not the day you decide to have a sober epiphany.
A DRUNK EMT IS BETTER THAN NO EMT!!!
No I just rolled on the floor giggling. I think that's the equivalent to a post sex victory dance.
to answer your questions bluetooth, 30ft, like a tampon, ask her, her idea, got tired of trying to find her in crowed clubs
I had to hose off vomit off my driveway at 9 am.....so hot
My 1st STD. I feel like there should be a cake for this.
I'm gonna cum garlic butter
Btw I appreciate you as a friend for taking the time to validate my sluttiness
i woke up and couldnt remember who was in my bed and it was so dark.. i rolled over and started kissing him and feeling his face because hey... if the blind can see like that.. maybe i could too
Randomize
