just do it
fine only cuz shes asian
when im bored during the day i often think, what do people who dont get high do with their day.. i came to the conlcusion that everyone must be getting high
he looked upset that i wasn't completely shaven. i reminded him he had begged. and beggars can't be choosers.
Just found out for my occult lit class (history of cults) final project is making a spellbook. Hello last term of college.
Whoa. I woke up to 10 new text messages. All about bacon.
It was huge And he was twirling it around. Im telling you, beautiful wonderpenis
how thoroughly do i need to sanitize the cone the vet put around my dog's neck for it to be safe to use as a beer bong?
I'm also 95% sure I had a conversation with someone on how hard it would be to jerk off with out opposable thumbs
The bartender from Thursday remembered me... And gave me a FLAMING BUCKET of alcohol.
We talk about tequila and blow jobs the way that normal people talk about the news and the weather.
I was tripping so hard I was disappointed when I pulled back the shower curtain and shrek wasn't standing there
I work nights. I sleep in. I take online classes. And fuck bad bitches. I'd say those are some perks to grad school.
I'm pretty sure his cum gave me swimmer's ear.
yo dude not sure how this happened but im drunk at your house eating burritos with your mom and sister. hope you're having fun in new zealand
We can use the Mac n cheese as the potatoes in our breakfast burritos. Problem solved.
Randomize
