There's a hobo dancing by himself. Is anyone going to ask how he got in the house?
I may or may not have slept in someones apt on your street because they told me I was fun sized like a mini snickers
I think my tv knows when im high and tells taco bell
separated laundry into 'got laid' and 'didn't get laid' piles.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
when does it stop being whiskey dick and start just being me bad in bed?
You know its bad when convincing your mother you were masturbating is the better alternative
of all places to pass out....why right in front of our RA's door? OF ALL PLACES.
and then he publicly announced her herpes on facebook.
And drunk me decided to play keep away with sober me's dignity
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
IT'S A FUCKING GIANT POKEBALL MAD OUT OF TINY ROSES
Standing here wondering if its a good idea to cook pork chops in the toaster or not.
So they just told me that while I was being loaded into the ambulance the cop told them if they were good friends they'd post it on Facebook...
The subtweets were good enough
i fell into a bathtub last night and broke the fall with my forehead. my forehead is bruised
i peed in the parking lot at work not even thinking, a woman saw
He walked in on me masturbating and on my phone but got mad because I wasn't watching porn just tweeting
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