Who said anything about talking that was a booty call
ohhh no, absolutely not. i am waaayyy too superstitious to have sex with the self-proclaimed "baby-maker" on father's day...
To say the least, now you know you're a proper lady, passing a field sobriety test in heels...
It's official. I now have that "I was drunk and needed the money" college story to share later in life.
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
if I could send you my dick right now I would. that's how good of a friend I am.
Yeah. I stopped her before she flashed the guy for a free slice of pizza. She called me a gentleman and then before I knew it she was in my bed.
I bet. I bought a surfboard and a kite and filled my camelback with vodka-tonics. Let's do this
You found me in the back room alone eating someone else's whole birthday cake with my hands then asked me if you could join.
You know what? I bet HE would do stormtrooper roleplay with me. I'm in.
Me and allie were just offered cocaine by a strange man in a women's bathroom. Why have I not lived in Austin my whole life?
I JUST HAD A FLASH MEMORY OF DOING A SHOT OF WHISKEY WITH MY BEER YOU WERE SUPPOSED TO PUNCH ME IN THE FACE TO PREVENT THAT FROM HAPPENING.
This morning I woke up in the entrance of a retirement home. Memory fragments from last night: making it rain with the contents of my wallet over the bridge, getting hit by a car, and a lot of running.
Where is Holly?
Nevermind. i can hear her having sex two doors down
Do you think Ashley had her twin sister tag in for our date? The sex was different and I think a mole was missing
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