And just as he was about to come, he screamed "Oh Christy!!"
What's wrong with that? Your name IS christy.
He then said, "Oh shit, sorry Julie."
no, i'm not a lesbian.. i just really want to fuck you while drinking, thats normal in a friendship.
we usually just have an Easter beer hunt and never end up at church anyways
This is drunk me apologizing to sober me in advance.. I am sprry about you're trashed house. Mom an dad will be home by 5 so get up and clean. P.s. Mike is in the closet passed out.
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I finally won that bet on when the anorexic girl would pass out at the gym. You owe me 10 now
It was like good, clean fun, but with bodyshots.
Did you really just text me at 6:35 in the morning asking where the condoms were? I moved out a year ago.
he fucked me to the beat of the construction going on outside my house. i will never look at jackhammers the same ever again.
She made a roadhead CD. Can I marry her?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
nothing worse than walking out of class after 3 hours and having covered exactly zero information
walking out with herpes. that would be worse
remember when I told you about my grandma asking me about my sex scars? Less comfortable than that
Dude, double fisting packs of Ramen saved my life last night
Well I woke up at my house so that's a plus. But I'm pretty sure I peed on my sofa because I woke up in the pee position.
Fuck you fireball...just straight up fuck out of here
i wasnt sure i had a crush on her until i woke up this morning and saw i had googled fifteen variations of "lesbian marriage in estonia". where the fuck is estonia
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