The worst part was when my mom got more drunk than anyone else and started doing the Time Warp.
Do vagina's smell?
In case you were wondering, transporting lube in a ziploc bag is just as bad of an idea as it sounds.
The only good thing about this is that the pharmacy guy will stop trying to add me on Facebook.
Discovered that a nalgene holds an entire bottle of wine. Going mobile. Come find me.
I can't keep up with all the guys you're banging. I'm just going to start referring to them by city of origin.
I will not be held responsible for my vagina's poor judgment.
It's a fucking menopause festival down here at the strike zone
Also cheers for the reminder to check last night's texts. It's been a magical adventure through drunk me's thought process.
Ugh, I should just give up, and fuck him in a parking lot, and shave my head and walk naked through the streets of King's Landing.
He dated a girl who could do the damn splits on his dick like how do you compete with that
Can't. Way too high. Forgot how to operate doors. Stuck outside.Come get me.
I wish there was a tumbleweed emoji. Because that would describe my vagina.
He asked me how many starwars references he could make before i no longer find him attractive.
dude kate found out i cheated and busted in while i was taking a shit. I was cornered, nothing i could do
so drinking tonight?
Be there in 15
Randomize
