I miss Michael Jackson so much sometimes
I'm going on a nature/throwup walk. Don't lock me out of the apartment.
.....woke up with a tube of cinnamon buns in my pocket, i miss you
I have bruises on my ass from her spurs. God bless Texas.
The timing couldn't have been better if I planned it. His mom walked away, I vomited in their mulch, and then his mom came back and offered me bread.
It's now 8:05 on a Wednesday night and I'm already going home with my bra in my purse.
Slip and slide hallway was not one of my better ideas.
She told me she's into girls now. I told her there would be a full bottle of jäger and an empty bed here Friday.
I mean, the night I fell out of that bus I made you pour vodka onto my wound to clean it, then duct taped a paper towel to my hand and kept drinking.
Well he has a golden retriever set as his background so there's no way he was filming us having sex
I just want to slap everyone in the face that's happy being sober. Loser.
I just traded a couple nudes for pizza delivery. Call me lazy, easy, or an entrepreneur, but either way I'll have dominoes in 15 minutes.
i could only love him more if he was covered in glitter.
Ya know. I was thinking of my slutty moments the other day and finally know which one makes the number 1 spot.
We hotboxed his bathroom. going to be a good night
Hotbox went wrong - smoke sets off fire alarm. Firefighters coming
Randomize
