Well, I fucked her. But the sex wasn't all that great. Morning sex never is
There's a girl in here wearing a kaballah bracelet and a miley Cyrus tshirt. consider her judged.
he wanted me to dress up like someone from lord of the rings. I dumped him.
I just saw a girl walk by me wearing a "kiss me I'm pro choice" shirt. Is that a signal for easy access?
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I want to apologize in advance in the event I put my boobs in your face
I fell asleep with my vibrator still in me. I am the Queen of Sad Masturbation.
Also, we just got yelled at by a cop for being awesome...or making out in a fountain. Whatever.
I think my hand is broken. But his nose definitely is
Drunk at ten am watching Californication re runs. Being divorced rules.
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We had fun with our Indiana Jones role-playing until I whipped myself in the dick with my belt.
You're lucky I'm tired or I'd take a pic of me mounting a reindeer yard decoration
I feel like these arent even my fingers anymore
I would really like it if you guys got out of my bush
I am eating croutons on my bathroom floor. Are you happy?!
If u could sum last night up in one word?
omgwtfpineapple
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