My roommate just called. He's in Miami and has no idea how he got there. He also has a ticket to Buenos Aires that he can't explain. I figured you'd have the explanation.
M WATCHING THE HISTORY CHANNEL AND IT SAID THAT WHEN THE LUST PART OF THE BRAIN IS ACTIVATED THE JUDGEMENT PART IS NOT. THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
We uncovered another pile of vomit after you left. And i am not talking about the one in the vase
I don't know what kind of soup they made, but it smells like condoms.
I'm bringing vagina and cookies. You'll be fine.
I am too drunk to deal with your everything. Reread this everytime you feel the need to talk to me.
My only regret is that I have but one penis to give to your vagina.
he got everyone in a room, turned off the lights and started throwing knives at the wall. if you got hit, you had to drink...
You're telling me you've never sent a picture of your cock to a girl and then were all like "Oops, sorry, wrong person! By the way...You like?"
People spilled so much that there was a thin film of beer on the floor. You took a running start, screamed, "SLIP AND SLIDE!" and slid face first through the drywall.
Dude this weed smells so good they should make it into a Vicks vapor rub scent and I would rub it all over myself.
I spent the day drinking wine and meditating. I'm zen as fuck.
I hope dressing like a sexy, but very grown up and intelligent, secretary while out shopping helps disguise how high I am right now.
I feel like I put a fire out with my hand but idk if that was a dream or not
She told me the next morning I stared at her tits for like 15 minutes with binoculars from only a few seats away.
Randomize
