New invention idea: vibrating tampons
bang him and never speak to him again. also, queef in his face.
i dont this its possible to queef on command.
found a strand of your hair in my car. it's 1 ft 7 inches long
wtf you measured my hair?
I'm outside your house...sorry I feel like I don't need formal invites anymore.
I thought all girls wanted is to get a boner
you want to re-phrase that?
we were having sex and the sweat made her make up run... seriously laid there and watched her face just melt into ugly.
My dora the explorer band aid does not cover up the shame i feel right now
i took my sailor hat off and used it as a vom bucket
The drugstore has summer clearance. I bought you a little mermaid bucket. Now your hangovers will feel more like childhood adventures.
Turns out lunch break sex with someone you cant stand being around for any amount of time just makes you wish you had gone to get tacos like you originally planed.
It was like something out of a fucked up fairy tale. He just crowdsurfed over to her while riding a keg, said "come sail with me", and then the crowd carried them off into the night. What.
If you need to be the damsel in drunken distress make sure it's before 3.
Way to go. Now you have no beer and I have a cold tit.
I sense naked hashbrown eating in my near future.
Be safe. If you have intercourse with a boy use so many condoms this his penis is no longer recognizable.
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