ejected that DVD during the department meeting.. it was our porn from last night. I have a new nick-name at work.
Over it. He probably jacked off to bible verses last night. I don't want that
I woke up, not remembering how or when or why i was even there and looked over to find Steph spooning with an adult black man.
No dude, you can't hot box a bus shelter.
why the fuck are my pubes caked with bread crumbs?
Sorry I forced you to take an adderall at 1am and then proceeded to dance to Lose Yourself outside of Qdoba.
you're expensive. Idk about all this. What happened to free make outs?
Sobriety and mild self-respect
I'm sorry. I just realized our 'big night out' ended up being you driving my high ass to get burritos and back.
Old men love us. For they have fine taste and disturbing minds.
Holy shit, I just successfully took and sent a boob pic AT MY DESK I have conquered an entire new level of skill.
THE PRUIS IN YOUR DRIVEWAY IS NOT YOURS
excuse me?
I accidentally borrowed your spare keys a while ago...i just tried them...that, my friend, is not your car.
I'm not sure how to explain it, but I feel like our penises have a connection. Like long lost brothers. We're not even gay.
I think next time I give head I'm gonna try making the chewbacca noise.
I look forward to it
He put your tit in his mouth. Professionalism is out the window after that.
okay valid
Our livers are going to hate us.
It's okay, they're regenerative. God wanted this.
Randomize
