In regards to your tweet: as its been said on all of those posters on ffffound: keep calm and carry on
you started whispering 'the itsy bitsy spider' while you were putting your hands up my shorts.
bought some hannah montana deodorant. hope it doesnt make me smell untalented
He literally is quoting that 21 questions song, the 50 cent one. oh my god.
I'm treating myself to a " uve slept with yet another mr. Wrong" breakfast
Is it possible to get a DUI in a wheelchair that's not yours?
Do ex girlfriends even count for summer sexcapades. Seems like the damage had already been done
Victory lap
announcing that you were the mayor of bjtown got their attention.
Just witnessed a fat waitress doing whipits in the back of a waffle house.. my life seems a little brighter..
I'm not sure if I should be proud of you for having morals or disappointed in you for letting your sex life get this sad.
I am seriously thinking about wearing a blanket as a cape. So when I pass out tonight the blanket might keep me warm.
I said "I am wrapped in the Cocoon Of Comfort! You should go." He started to argue and I yelled "COCOON OF COMFORT!!!" silencing him
An hour is enough time for me to get drunk and win a dry hump marathon so I hope you have somewhat similar or better goals
And the sexual frustration is like I'm wearing a damn horcrux
Just woke up with only a scarf and my uggs on. i hate partying naked in winter.
Randomize
