Stalkers don't have time for showers...it's a full time job
I am waking up at 7am to go to church with him and his family... I better get eaten out tonight.
Ive been tazing him too get him immuned. He will be unstopable.
He couldn't say anything coherently but shot off a perfectly timed "that's what she said" when michelle said he'd have to ride in the trunk because she didn't have enough room up front.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm a 23 year old virgin. I've masturbated in ways you can't even imagine.
How did a couple beers and monopoly turn into a bottle of vodka and throwing eggs at eachother in the kitchen?
It's "your husband had his mouth on my vagina" awkward.
There's sex hanging in the air like a pinata. European people are no joke.
I woke up five hours later with a mouthful of Jimmy John's while clinging to my sandwich.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There is a dude in a thong with a Nerf axe having battles in the street. Welcome to Portland
Sometimes I get in situations where I realize they think I'm smarter than I am and then it's just one more thing I have to fake.
I'm about to be a big disappointment.
You don't understand. There's baclava and there's post sex baclava. You can't compare the two.
I was standing in my mom's kitchen in only my neon green thong, eating pizza over the garbage can, and sobbing while he was yelling at me.
You can't die you're my only democrat family member
My one night stand from last weekend is now taking me on a date this weekend. How is this my life?
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