you started crying because you didn't get to wear your rainboots this week so i turned on the shower and let you jump around in it
youre the best friend ever
it makes more sense than having a misplaced asshole
im not talking about this
And your hair- I'd make sure to pee on it first.
She came to the party with six kegs and a life sized portrait of Lavar Burton. SHE WILL BE MY WIFE.
He brought wine and beer. I'll put my pants on for wine and beer.
Because I can't get laid, I'm day-drinking and hunting squirrels in the backyard. You can take the girl out of Montana...
Does he cat effect his dick pics to you? Because THAT is true love
How do I tell your little brother I lost my virginity wearing nothing but his socks?
Formal letter or email.
On Wednesday I'm putting wine in a water bottle and crashing Margaret thatchers funeral
I feel like your dick pick is everywhere. Never have I needed to be so careful when posting pictures.
You've seen the quality of dick pics I normally get. The bar is high.
the bartender knew what was up when i took a sip of my drink, gagged and asked her to water down my water
I'm so hung over that I'm pretty sure I can feel the earth's rotations when I close my eyes.
Sorry you saw me having sex with your brother on the beach
I have 3 vacation days left and I'm guarding them like a gay dragon on a pile of gold dildos molded after celebrities.
Smaug the FABULOUS
Randomize
