I wouldn't call it sex. It's like when you put a plug in a socket half way. It's not all the way in but it still turns on the light.
i'm just going to get a pitcher of margarita. sober up by 10. and then do my accounting project
haha it staarrted out with just getting drunk then it turned into sports authority. So now im 4th or 5th in line and shit faced. Help me
I swallowed for you. Answer the phone.
Tonight just try not to threaten to pee on the hot guys buying us drinks....please..
I was wondering, is there any way to hook up a lawn hose to a keg?
He kept humping my leg and whispering "dont worry, thats my phone not my penis"
U know when u get really drunk and u don't think anyone can see what your doing? If I'm that drunk the possibilities are endless
As a gentleman, I asked her if she was sure and she just whispered "wreck me" in my ear. I took that as a green light.
It was a shot marathon. It only ended because we werent drinking in our house apparently we walked into the nieghbors. When they got home thy were soooooo pissed.
My car windows are covered in lube. Happy 4th of July!
she opened a can of olives, drained the juice and poured ranch dressing in. oh and 'croutons' (saltines) on top...
if i seriously got my dick up last night, then im taking him to disney world cause thats just fuckin impressive
We are all done wearing pants today
you grabbed the breathalyzer at dinner, blew a 0.20 and told the waitress you'd eat her ass
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