She's a black belt cougar in the 6th degree.
I bruised his dick. I bruised his dick WITH MY MOUTH!! I've never felt more accomplished.
you smelled like vodka, i think that's why my grandma liked you
Currently emptying half-full wine bottles from fridge into my mouth and refilling with water for later. Drunk survivalist recycling!
i tried to knight her with my dick. she said it was unromantic. what an ungrateful attitude for a knight.
She's like my safety school. At the end of the night, if I haven't found anyone better to hook up with, I can always call her if I need a place to drop a load and don't want to rub one out myself. Perfect next door neighbor.
Vodka drinking games. Where you wake up next to a douche lord and see your thong in the blinds.
I woke up smelling like chlorine with a broke toe. They know how to fucking party on lake lanier.
I feel like I got ass raped in the brain.
She just rubbed her face up and down my six pack cooing. Equal measure of weird and hot.
We did shots with the Tupperware consultant last night. I'd say the night was a success.
I think there's an ice cream truck out back, but there's no way I can get pants on in time to catch it
Saw a dude last night at a strip club's bar eating canned pineapple and giving tootsie pops to the girls...
I was just thrown into the pool and now I'm surrounded by men... You would think this is the dream but I'm just confused
He usually doesnt care about me cumming but last night he really tried, I feel that him going to the Womens March benefitted my sex life
I think I accidentally got a sugar daddy but I was already planning on sleeping with him so I’m going to see where this goes
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