It was kinda weird being the boss
Did you feel like Tony Danza?
tell ils to like buy her flowers and like a balloon that says, sorry I tried to fuck your sister. I think hallmark makes some of those cards too.
your cum blends into my yellow sheets :/
mom brought her knitting needles with her. its bad enough to be in the ER on new years, but to be with the knitting parent!?
Having a dry hump session to Alvin and the chipmunks surprisingly didn't kill the mood. He's that good.
How do I tell my Dad that in the picture he has of me and my brother as the background of his phone we were both rolling face on ecstasy?
We're in the kiddy pool eating marshmellows and drinking wine out of a box. Please dress casual.
we gave you a glass of water and you just started yelling: TWO STRAWS, PATS AN ENGINEER HE'LL FIGURE IT OUT
Well yeah connect the two together, then you can lay down and drink.
i tied my phone to a string attached to my bra. i am NOT losing it tonight
I shall welcome him into my body with an open liver and completely lay down all chance of resistance. Sweet Zeus, please take me to Mt. Olympus and share all that is divine. I promise, the secrets will be safe with me
LOVE ME MORE THAN PIZZA CAN
Well for decently drunk, in the woods, last-person-i-should-be-hooking-up-with sex, i thought it was pretty good.
Lol yeah. Because I just woke him up to blow him for being hot.
Strip Simon Says: DO IT
And now let us go forth, and be garbage people in public.
Isn't that our default mode?
Randomize
