Can i come over
After you called me a desperate slut? No
Come over
it was like playing where's waldo with your underwear
So I don't have any furniture but we just skateboard drunk around the floor.
Standing here next to my mom talking to my friend trying to act like he doesn't sell me E every weekend.
After you took the handle off the bathroom door I had to coach the Scottish guy sitting on the toilet, throwing up in his own lap, how to put his pants back on. Yes, I think he won the drinking game.
Whats the count minus fat chicks?
Puking green right now......... jaimison mcflurry very bad idea
you say it like running around in your thong wasted is a bad thing
She went dumpster diving. Found flourescent light bulbs, carpet samples and $15. We got a bottle of Popov, played star wars and threatened random people with the carpet. Get on our level.
Oh no I would never do that to her. But when you're single again let me know. Cheating penis is definitely better than single penis. But she has claws.
Holy shit, did you actually CHOOSE to get hit by the alcohol truck last night?
I haven't showered. And am sitting in the office smelling like a beer can someone's been using as an ash tray.
You fist bumped my dick last night saying good game. That you'll be back for the 2nd game...
You know, normal sex stuff involves shitting your pants. If you do it right.
The night went downhill somewhere between the time I was triple fisting smirnoff and when I was throwing up in the yard in nothing but my bra while he talk to me about mashed potatoes
Randomize
