dude im shwasted, kabul is not the best place for this
I just made $100 from people paying me not to get naked at the party... I need those P90X dvds
This got awkward about two "Oh yeah"s ago.
he's having a long distance Facebook-coordinated power hour. the status update has 159 comments ...
ARE YOU ALIVE? usually when i say lets start drinking at inappropriate times you come right over. im worried
how many days can you live off of Vicodin and frosty?? im going on 4 days......
Is it sad that I just used my electrical knowledge to not only fix but improve my vibrator?
totally worth getting kicked out for trying to throw my drink on lindsay lohans ankle bracelet.
Dude your neighbors are having a garage sale. They were judging me as I walk of shamed back to my car.
So the first 4 hours of my morning was equivalent to seeing under water. Things were starting to get better until I remember I drank mustard for free stuff and flossed my teeth with a strand of hair from a stranger in the bathroom.
I'm pretty sure they kept making references about gangbanging me but I was too stoned to catch on, I just sat there and stared at his kitten.
We are not in a rock band. We can't continue living like this.
He somehow pantsed the bouncer and tipped him over before cartwheeling and skipping away? Help me find him.
It's 1pm, she's in the shower, I don't have the guts tell her I wasn't her blind date. Someone got stood up.
It feels appropriate that the wallet of my high school and college years would die at the hands of a spilled bong. Which in and of itself is a solid metaphor for those years.
Randomize
