i feel like im doing the pre-walk of shame..like every car that drives by is like, ooooo look at that girl, in that itty bitty dress, yep shes about to get her skank on tonight...
just next time i won't let coke make me think I'm superman and drink a shit ton.
Did u pay ur friends to not make fun of me?
He just said "Chunky" very loudly in his sleep.
Because of no shave november, it's no boys december... pay back
Fucked Zombie Jesus at a Halloween party. I need Plan B before I give birth to the Antichrist.
We used the solo cup bag for her hair tie. Desperate times call for desperate measures.
And then we can spend New Year's Day sprawled across the tiles watching greys anatomy and puking into the bushes over the balcony. It'll be great
She got drunk on the air plane and pretended to be an elephant for an hour...Atleast the kid behind us enjoyed it.
Mom and I are both drunk and walking around the Strip. It's like the hangover but with a lot more bathroom breaks.
I told him I was going to sit on his face after I got out of the shower, he threw up the arm boners and yelled "STEVE HOLT!!" I might actually stop sleeping with other dudes.
He just felt my tits to find out which piercing I lost.
rock bottom is drinking straight vodka from a protein shaker, singing one direction and crying alone in your room. exams.
So help me God.... if he sends me a dick pic.... I will make it so he has to eat food through a tube in his nose and poop into a bag by his belly button
Also we're getting drunk and sledding down Caroline street. See you soon.
Randomize
