She's hot and she went to Notre Dame. I want to fuck the Catholic right out of her
he yelled 'rock me amadeus!' when he came
i love that song!
NOT THE POINT
He just came in my nostril. Never look down when a guy is pulling out during missionary.
You need a Jiminy Cricket, but for sexual decisions.
I cannot believe this. A potential 2016 Olympiad wants my vag. To which I respond "GO FOR THE GOLD"
you have to be that girl in the audience holding up the sign that says i fucked the shit out of you
Just an FYI if we break up I'm going to sleep with your cousin or who ever my dealer is.
She's calming us down by shoving oreos in our mouths
It's fun yes. But hard on the body. I woke up with her purse, socks and one of her shoes in my room. The other shoe was outside. What the fuck were we doing last night?
He didn't get laid that weekend.. and that is honestly an accomplishment for the rest of us.
See! Theres potential!
Oh yeah. All good relationships start with a threesome.
Opened the browser on my phone to a web search for midget birth rates per capita. A good night.
This chick just walked by and pet my beard. Don't know, never talked to her. She just walked by and pet my beard.
Marry her
Ya it was crazy the power went just as she was about orgasm and the vibrator got fried with the power surge
I don't know where you went, but if you're anywhere near the liquor, pour me another drink
I thought it was your cat but I was wrong your Roomba is possessed by a pissed-off evil spirit.
Randomize
