Sooo... I woke up in the shower this morning. It was on.
Just discovered Kim Possible porn. Life is now complete.
And now that i don't feel so bad because you're not pregnant the $15 for the pregnancy test I bought would be appreciated
I don't think I can handle being a slut. There is a lot more emotional stress that I never realized.
Using a Nedi Pot after doing lines... at least I'm a health conscious drug user?
Ordered a large pizza and definitely just paid the cab driver in pizza slices. I'm glad there's someone out there that's just as fat at heart as we are.
The whiskey is fighting the tequila on who wants to be the one who end my night first.
98% is good enough for me. Kinda like birth control. Worth the risk
He's drinking 50/50 vodka/water out of a camelback. Disaster would be a compliment at this point.
Turns out I was the only one drinking. I broke one guy's bed and kicked another in the face. Then when an RA came by I shouted to let him in he's gonna find the vodka anyway. Great night
What happens at the gay bar stays at the gay bar. Except that I sold my panties for $100. People should know that.
I ordered a VEGAN pizza, because it gets here the fastest, just so I could get a 2 litre of Coke. For my whiskey.
It's something I can't competently describe without making sex sounds.
I think if I send him enough nudes, he will buy my plane ticket.
Turns out tits aren't quite as effective an enticement when they know for a fact that they can't touch.
Randomize
