first i yelled "you cant get it up?" and then in the middle of it i opened a Corona
so I was like, you know platform 9 3/4? I know something else with those measurements. best. pick up line. ever.
We just described beer as "big boy apple juice" to his 2 year old.
I'm currently trying to figure out how I woke up naked and handcuffed to my bed. Not real worried about class right now.
True friendship; bangin a girl to get ur friends hat back
he opened the microwave and beer cans poured out
Beer bonged 7 shots of Jameson. I title this night short stories with tragic endings.
karaoke mosh pit has descended into fisticuffs, send backup
Yup. Can I borrow your penis decanter for my Xmas party on Saturday
6 beers, 3 orange crushes, & half a fire ball later & you get my alter ego.
Please tell me that SOMEONE, SOMEWHERE, has created a drink called a 'Tequila Mockingbird'. PLEASE.
gonna guess the empty vodka bottle and open can of tuna in the bathroom drawer are related?
Please tell me im imagining that i claimed that i was king of the ducks.
Going to jail. Warrant. Be home late. For the love of god turn your ringer on.
Your vagina must be outstanding or have a secret entrance to Narnia if someone is will to fly from Texas for one night of it.
Randomize
