We started making out, then he decided to get naked, put on a condom, and proceed to dry hump my leg, sweat pants and all, until he blew his load. I thought this was college. I immediatly left claiming I can't sleep in other people's rooms. He didn't even bother taking off my hoodie.
Omg. In the pub, there's a guy shouting at the olympic channel 'yeah! Kill that motherfucker!' we're watching figure skating.
they hired a photographer to take a family portrait for grandmas bday gift. we just hired a male stripper. we are def the better grandkids.
Your place is a magnet for either righteous parties or crippling alcohol dependency. Lets find out which together
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Those two lesbians inspired me. A whole new way to roll. Fuck shots. Gallons of vodka is the new tequila.
We called dibs on each other's genitals. That bond is unbreakable.
I couldn't sleep so I took 4 shots of vodka and promptly threw up in the sink. Happy Thursday
Dude this weed smells so good they should make it into a Vicks vapor rub scent and I would rub it all over myself.
I yelled at the dude who smoked him up "YOU'RE THE REASON I'M NOT GETTING LAID" then went to bed. So yeah, I guess it was an ok night.
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I just accidentally showed an old lady a pic of my penis while showing her cat pics. So how's your day going?
i turned around and there he was, right in my face. i was mid deep throat of a hot dog that i was eating with my hands and no bun. you win FSU, you win.
I wouldn't hesitate to give up my job to have regular bowel movements again
Nice. Ask if they watched saved by the bell. yes=legal. No=jailbait
Ugh. It's days like these that make me wish my bad habits would kill me faster
Other than the whole stab wound in my leg thing, today was pretty good. The nurses all loved me and gave me a sandwich and juice.
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