Dude WTF? His teammate just started talkin to me on fb! Am I walking around with a "I like to f**k gators" on my forehead?
No, it just says ur easy
i think i have herpe
just one?
we were doing it doggy-style and i felt him pop that pimple on my back.I have mixed feelings about it
dude stop sending me pictures of your dick in weird places. i get it. you rock out with your cock out.
In an m&m suit playing manhunt drunk. And you thought you werent guna have a good time
and honestly how many chances will you get to hook up with a one armed guy?
she's a dental assistant. she can get nitrous. kinda looks like a sloppy bucket of fuck. time to take one for the team. NEED SHOTS STAT!!
idk. I was on the deck with Dominic and i felt something weird on my arm. I looked down and you were licking my elbow.
I don't think casual Fridays means I can go to work with dried cum in my hair...
I'm trying to make sure he doesn't drown in the toilet. Because I'm a nice lady.
I sexted him with a GIF from titanic and it worked....
Is it tacky to frame a negative pregnancy test?
I literally heard an 'oh my god' when the shirtless Tongan appeared.
I wouldn't have found her if it wasn't for the vomit trail leading into my brother's room.
I showed up drunk and covered in glitter, smelling like stale booze and dirty stripper and my younger brother gave thanks his life wasn’t a shitshow like mine
That’s how my thanksgiving went
Randomize
