she asked me if the dress made her look fat, i told her no - the fat made her look fat.
and I asked her"are you allergic to condoms latex like your older sister " she said "Idk this is gonna be my 1time"
A girl limped into my class 15 minutes late wearing sunglasses, leggings, and a kiss me im irish shirt. She sat down and took her glasses off and im pretty sure she only had one eye's makeup still on. Someone had a great st pattys day.
Let's get back to talking about you giving me a blow job.
He introduced me to his parents as the girl he made out with on Thursday night...
I hate that he uses me for something other than sex. What does he think I am? His girlfriend? Ha.
in the middle of fucking he asked me if i had gotten a haircut because he noticed i didnt have split ends anymore. i dont know what to think
And for some reason I just want to have sex with EVERYTHING
Im pretty sure that girl just said "Im taking you home even if your girlfriend has to come too." Why are we here again?
Here's the thing, you got road head in two different cars tonight. You feel lucky yet?
Is she still in your room?
Not for long. My plan is to smoke her out like a small woodland creature.
SORRY BITCH CAN'T, TAKING SHOTS TO WHITNEY HOUSTON.
I JUST WATCHED PAULA DEEN PUT BUTTER IN HER BLOODY MARY. This is not a drill. Real life.
Hey, I think I showed you a picture of my nephew while we were fucking last night. Sorry, I know it's weird, I just really love that kid. Again, sorry.
The only thing I want for my birthday is a divorce from you.
Randomize
