and that's why we call him explosion in my pants. no one remembers his real name.
i now know from two sources i am better at making out and giving head than she is. and not by a little either.
Took an aderol, wrote a differential equation for solving volume of flow of a rectangular channel with change in depth, then masturbated for the 6th time.
my coke dealer is running a Black Friday special
I'm about to cry with happyness at the beer that will be consumed
Somewhere out there, someone is getting laid. And then theres me, watching Star Trek porn while my roommate plays World of Warcraft next door
just saw a midget ride a motorized cooler into the liquor store. i'm gonna follow him home.
Turns out I wasn't throwing up blood, I just threw up so hard it ripped my tonsils. Thank you Jameson.
On 3 separate occasions, she grabbed my bullhorn to announce to the entire party she had fucked me.
i cant answer while inside this church craft show. so unless you're outside with my engagement ring and a nonfat gingerbread latte, it'll have to wait.
he said he wished i had balls so he could kick me in them. then we had sex obviously
I don't care. I'll text you about my butthole whenever I please. That's what you signed up for in this relationship.
Two questions. One. Where are you watching election results tomorrow? Two. Can we have Obama victory sex?
I gave you chlamydia, you gave me a concussion. Now we're even.
Imagine we only get one cock for the rest of your life. I’d pick his dick. That good!
Randomize
