the only girl from my high schools graduating class coming to our school next year went stag to prom and still has braces...
dibs.
she was so ugly that the sight of her made me shiver and then i had to play it off like a draft blew by that only i felt.
It's like I'm the Little Bo Peep of sheparding dicks.
Only someone with your twisted mind could come up with that simile. Do you sit around and read 'How to turn Beloved Childrens Stories into Sexual Analogies?' This is the 3rd time you've done this.
dude, i was at the student union last night trying to study but some retarded sorority spent an hour voting on the color of the seasons shirts like it was a UN meeting- someone motioned purple, someone objected, and half an hour later after 2 recounts they decided on purple
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Those motion detector trash cans don't work fast enough to catch puke.
according to the random from alabama i slept with last night i kept saying "poor lil tink tink" over and over in my sleep
Anne I just took two ambiens. I think my body is melting into my blow up bed. Like a stick of butter just slowly melting. And I'm alright. Don't be afraid. I'll be alright.
I just used my glow stick from the dance to find my way in the bathroom to puke. Who wants me on their corporate team
His words said "save me", but his penis said "I'll take my chances"
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I've been here for three hours and I am already feeling sorry for whatever offspring i will indefinitely produce in this place.
I pray for you bro.
My dad just asked if I could bring snacks to jail this weekend. Like what does he think this is, some type of adult play date?
I just hope I don't wheeze during sex
Never thought I'd say this, but getting head from a skeleton was better than I thought. Happy Halloween
we will now reference it as "the infamous double dick night"
He called me dainty, then fucked me like the Viking God he is.
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