He fucking owes me dinner after I gave him head under the deck behind the bar.
what are u so afraid of ive smelled ur poop before
adderall just fell out of my nose in class. guy next to me just nodded.
Is it wierd that you're going to be my best man and you've fucked my wife?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so there is either a lot of blood or a lot of wine in the shower....
My night sucks. It's really hard to masturbate with a broken finger.
I am the master of subtle flirting. I seduced him by simulating a hand job with an epi-pen during training.
I ordered a million chicken go wraps and they gave me five. Even when im drunk I can count to a million and know its not five. They fucked me.
A few days ago I apparently came up, asked her to make me soup, and handed her a can of coconut milk.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I mean, who doesn't have an ex involved with bath salts?
She still didn't believe that he would cheat on her so I finally said "how else would I know that his batman mask is still in the back of his car from halloween?" I think she accepted it
Anyway. I unfriended all of these people like a grown up and I am never talking to them again
I just smoked weed with my physics professor. Tell me how my life is this.
You know your late night booty call was a huge fail when you go back to your car after it's over, and it's still warm.
21st birthday weekend in Vegas has concluded and all I'm missing is my underwear and 'Contacts' icon on my phone home screen.
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