Right on... I dropped my chapstick
I blacked out
I'm too high to be shopping. I just contemplated deoderant for fifteen minutes. Now testing pillows
She called it mighty mouse.. And from there it was down hill
it went kinda like vodka, childhood memories, screaming/cursing, fist fight, tears, broken shit, passing out. in that order. tis the season.
Hung over. Bed full of legos for some reason. Not getting up. Come build stuff with me.
She told me she's going to buy a projector so she can watch porn on her ceiling...I'm telling you man this chick is going places
I walked into my room to see them crying, watching hey arnold, and passing a franzia box back and forth...
You sprayed lysol all over me. You said that my soberness was infecting your night.
I like how he had to correct himself in stating that I was the fat one in the threesome.
Wtf are freshmen gonna think when the first thing they see in a pale 6'4 white kid with a mustache yelling ya man and we be liming in a Trinidadian accent
I never thought I would have to get vodka suctioned out of my ear
I just love that a strip club has taco Tuesday.
Idk I'm drinking Sam Adams and wearing new balances so I'm basically a dad
I want to eat a stick of butter
Did your pain meds kick in?
It tastes nice
Last night I ate a candle out of a strippers ass.... I guess it was an okay night.
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