hey soul. what's that? you, dignity and pride are left for the night? coulda told me that before i vomited all over my mother.
good luck with ur interview. Just show them your confidence and don't make that sucking snot noise. Really don't. Praying for you, love mom
New game: Step 1) Turn on ESPN. Step 2) Drink every time someone says "LeBron."
please just be careful, i just switched my facebook status to "in a relationship", i would look really pathetic if i had to change it back to "single" already
Lightning struck the tree right outside of her window as I came inside her. I think its God's way of saying go by plan b.
I wish you would just come have sex with me in ihop. I don't want to be here
New high score, I made the stripper choke me while I was getting a lap dance last night
But I wanna cuddle and just put my hand awkwardly close to your penis area by accident and look at you
Just got back from the tanning beds. I'm a lobster. I fear for the safety of my nipples falling off.
He yearns for your heart.
He needs to stop being a pussy about it.
How does one un superglue their foot to the floor
I took a dab in Denver and was I. Rocky Mountain national park almost to Wyoming before I realized I missed my turn.
I just want to bone him one last time before he moves across the country with his new (average looking) girl friend.
Haha holy fuck. i dont remember much after pissing on your ex's flaming nude pics.
My bookbag can hold 30+ beers. They shoulda put that on the tag bc its a big selling point
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