I just had sex with a black guy. He told me I had a big dick. I think that's God's way of saying it's okay to be gay.
She makes me want to have breakfast margaritas every day
Maybe she got knocked up by accident. I still refuse to believe that anyone actually INTENTIONALLY gets pregnant.
And I'm PMSing. So if I'm not crying, I'm masturbating.
i've learned that i'm good at stealing things. like live cats.
The last good decent convo we has was when I was trying to convince you to let me watch you pee.
Is this a genuine concern or are you just high?
JUST BECAUSE I'M HIGH DOESN'T MEAN ITS NOT GENUINE CONCERN.
i don't know man, last time i saw her she was applying sunblock to her vagina
All I'm asking for is flower occasionally, and in return you get to come home to me naked in heels. Is that to much to ask for?
How could she say that about my foreskin when she hasn't even seen all the cool stuff I can do with it?
I'm sure you're still partially crippled from thar blow job on Saturday, so I understand it's probably difficult to text.
And we had three hours of crazy sex then his roommate ate pizza off me while I was sleeping.
I left at 4:30 in the morning and I told him it was because I had to take my contacts out
I woke up at her place in a kids bed hearing Sesame Street. She doesn't have kids!
Sorry my phone died. Obviously four o'clock in the morning is a good time to tell you this.
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