We've got 2 weeks of college left-I want to feel like Gary Busey by graduation.
Handjob with gloves on results in friction burn. In case you've ever wondered
No more tipping the bathroom attendant with your phone.
I dont know if you relize this but ive been high ly medicated in my room for a whil now. GOing out into the real world would make me li ke tom ha nks. im not ready to be tom hanks..
Also they do not have any come back to america, i miss my fuck buddy cards at Hallmark.
Trying to convince myself that everyone keeps staring at me because I'm pretty and not because of my hickies.
He paid the bartender with money from the tip jar then proceeded to hit on me in front of my date. I love frat dances
If the world ends and i have no vodka please just kill me.
ELLEHCIM
NYRMAK
DRAHCIR
WHAT??
What type of bandaid should I use on my clit
Dude, my vagina feels like new again! I love antibiotics. How's your day?
I fucked that choir dude last night. he had the most strangely musical moans. it was like a Sound Of Music porno.
Today, this cop risk his life to save me from a sink hole but all I could do is laugh, I was so stoned
Remember the random guy who licked my face when we were at the bar the other night?
Yeah. His name is Andrew. We just met
You abruptly started screaming because they had and I quote “calamari on the hoof”
Randomize
