You think ghandi was good in the sack? cuz i sure do.
I'm not gay.
Soooo you want ghandi? is that what your telling me?
If ghandi gives good head...I'm in
Its fine.
U know those big foam mats in the back gym for track?
ya, gonna go have sex there?
No I want one to have wings and pick me up and take me home
And then she said "sorry if my vagina smells like fish, it's just active."
So, do you know where my left shoe is? I mean, we were at a few places last night, and I called them. No luck for me.
i have to go- we're throwing the dummy from the balcony again
I got kicked out because I puked again I'm on the fire truck outside
I feel like I've been drunk all of June. And I am in NO WAY ashamed about it.
I can't break up with him, I ran the math. Taking into account his 7 inch penis and the standard deviation from average, almost 90% of guys should have a smaller penis than he does.
Really? Penis math? This is why guys shouldn't date female engineers.
Oh God! I'm naked from the waist down playing records. Too drunk. I don't even know what to do.
Balls out but with a shirt on. Eating ravioli. I don't know how to deal with this.
found a better reason to procrastinate than the usual sunday-don't-give-no-fucks. literally every one of my textbooks is soaked in captain. can't turn a page without gagging.
Fuck yeah GAYNESS
*explodes into glitter*
In other news, I just burned my penis
You wrote me a check. For zero dollars. For my soul. Dick.
What are you feeling right now?
Idk. I just flashed a porch 🤷🏼♀️
So not in the best place to do an emotional inventory
Oh the sweet dreamless sleep of drugs
You? On what? Why?
Randomize
