i lost my phone in the process of getting a condom out of my hair
This chick just checked into her walk of shame on Foursquare... I think I'm in love.
She's like a pop up book from hell.
we're havin a 400 loko party for joe pa's 400th win. come get loko
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We are doing handstands and somersaults in the pool. With an inflatable beer pong table and our regular beer pong table. We're ponging by land and by sea
Did you leave a blizzard on my porch last night? Or was that someone else giving out a metaphorical threat to me?
Afraid I'm about to get arrested. Complicated situation but not a joke. If I do not text again that all is clear within 90 minutes kindly begin bail process. I have the cash to repay as soon as I get home. Details later.
This is the most scared i've been of my hands since i did shrooms.
She wanted to roleplay. Apparently you be snow and i'll be a plow wasn't an option
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Omg. I have a story to tell you later about that girl that just crawled on stage
Idk... he wears anklets.. i dont think i can get past that.
I brought her cheeseburgers and tequila but she's still mad at me.
At what point in a new hookup do you tell the guy you need to wear a mouth guard when you sleepover because of your TMJ? Asking for a friend.
I woke up with a giant paw print on the side of my face, my jaw hurts, and I have no idea how any of this happened.
And then she grabbed my dick and started singing 'ring ring ring ring banana phone'
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