Well all I remember is going to sleep being big spoon to you and waking up being little spoon to *****
i'm pretty confident that i watched a woman making love to a german shepherd.
I wonder if she has a lisp when she orgasms...
I don't care how bad it tastes, i just put it in my mouth and deal with it
this guy literally just gave me a gold star sticker for the "stellar" blow job i gave him. ashamed? i think not.
So the weirdest part of it all was he whispered in my ear "can i eat you out on your tredmill?" I dont find him attractive at all anymore
There's nothing like puking in the airport on the way TO Vegas. Something tells me i pregamed a little too hard.
We probably shouldn't have forced that guys cat to drink the grey goose while we were doing lines in his bathroom
I fell asleep after the worst sex of my life and now I'm snowed in with him. SEND HELP. CALL FEMA. GET ME OUT OF HERE.
Never let a one night stand shower at your place. My razor, lotion, and brush disappeared. #girlcode
WHY DID HE INTRODUCE ME TO HIS MOM? CAN'T HE JUST HIDE ME LIKE EVERYONE ELSE I'VE EVER DATED?@!
Please don't think I'm weird for texting you this at 12:08 am but I just found another picture on the Internet where I think you can see his dick through whatever he's wearing
I'm so glad you haven't fallen off any more yachts
I just took a picture of Austin's dick wearing a hat. Except its not a hat it's a DayQuil cap.
Heard about your divorce. Let me know if I can do anything for you or your penis ;-)
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