Twist it, pull it, flick it... Bop it was like the first time I touched myself.
Fuck you I wanted that fabulous flaming homo to win american idol...its like we lost the gay marriage vote...again
If I die tonight, wear a V neck to my funeral.
Its piss that you smell... I borrowed that shirt last week. Sooo, wanna grab some laundry soap on your way home? And good luck on your date.
Would you like me to write a persuasive essay on how you should let me suck your dick?
Dude this breakup has officially hit rock bottom. sitting around watching women's NCAA basketball instead of going out
I really wish I had added "blowjob on a slide at a playground" to my bucket list before last night.
fun fact of the day: the man setting up my checking account at my bank has thrown up on my front lawn.
The fact that she put a frat guy in check tells me I did some good raising my little sister. Time to see if she does keg stands.
That's the first time I've ever heard something that tickled both my gag reflex and my penis simultaneously.
How do I discreetly dispose of sex toy packaging that is recyclable? What to do...what to do?
He got weirdly turned on by the video of my cat licking nacho cheese off my finger.
sex on the stairs. not our finest idea.
I should probably stop recommending my dentist to the different guys I'm seeing. That could be awkward in the future.
when I called the strip club they said there was a note with my credit card. "girl who punched guy in throat" fuck daytona
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