another moral hangover. fuck.
You'll put your fingers inside me but you won't be my FB friend?
Too tired to do the dishes so I made mac and cheese in a teapot. There's still some left if you want some...
Yeah, that's not really a good thing. Especially for a girl. You should get a tattoo on your stomach that says "Please wear a condom".
We need a plan...
Find random men. Use them as sexual objects. There's our plan.
That was the first time I have seen a confused expression with a dick in the mouth
I guess I was trying to make a cheese sandwich, I had to change my sheets cuz I slept on it and the cheese melted all over me, Dave, and my bed
I saw a picture of my dad holding my legs in a kegstand. Town festival=success.
I'm eating lunchables with a glass of wine while I FaceTime the guy I lost my virginity to.
Maybe he injected his testicle?
one more hour of this work bullshit and I'm off to get high with your cat.
he said "I would have fucked you in the chipotle bathroom" and I can't get over how awesome that would've been
I don'y know if I should feel accomplished or disgusted. I just ate a dozen cookies all to myself. I'm leaning more towards accomplished.
Someone just asked me if I was chewing red hot gum.... I'm LITERALLY SWEATING OUT FIREBALL.
just had sex in the back of my high school auditorium #dreamcumtrue
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