There really should be an "avoid ghetto" option on my GPS.
Im beginning to think that if I ever write an autobiography it will have to be mostly fill in the blank.
Also managed to rip my pants and set myself on fire. And oddly enough I'm still not ready to ask for 2010 back.
i will be blacked out in the shower. come get me. 20 mins.
If a man doesnt have the ability to fuck you well on a small climbing wall, I don't think he deserves you.
Jesus these cramps...it's like every potential fetus I swallowed last night is personally punching me in the uterus
Jesus Christ. If I were a normal sex-having person, I'd think I was knocked up. I'm cycling through emotions like I'm in a decathlon to crazy.
There's no discreet way to sneak a cucumber into the shower lol
Oh and .... you'll love this: my life coach says you writing my online dating profile isn't a horrible idea.
Stumbled out of my bed this morning into the bathroom at 8 am still drunk, obviously. The Mormon on my floor was in the bathroom. I could practically hear her doing hail marys for me.
god i just can't wait for finals to end so i can just masturbate all day and night
So how do u get your coat out of the coat room when someone is fucking on it?
They just canceled the season. It’s going to be harder to bang soccer moms this year
I have a lot of money, and no morals. shots on you when you get here.
They stopped fighting to partake in M&Ms and porn.
Randomize
